The Daily Wake Up Micro Podcast

"Me" over "We"

As the “We need to change” demand grows louder with each day, something doesn’t sit well with me. In my opinion, the most important piece to completing the overall puzzle is “me” over “we.” At a virtual Promise Keepers men’s conference, one of the speakers summarized my thoughts perfectly:
If a man associated with a family is messed up, the messed-up man contributes to a messed-up family.
Since the family is associated with a neighborhood, a messed-up family contributes to a messed-up neighborhood.
Since the neighborhood is associated with a city, a messed-up neighborhood contributes to a messed-up city.
Since a city is associated with a county, a messed-up city contributes to a messed-up county.
Since the county is associated with a state, a messed-up county contributes to a messed-up state.
Since a state is associated with a nation, a messed-up state contributes to a messed-up nation.
Since a nation is associated with the world, a messed-up nation contributes to a messed-up world.
Instead of demanding change from others, recognize where the change starts by looking in the mirror and surrender your wants to clean the mess.
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"You're Right"

If you are like me, sometimes we can get defensive when someone offers feedback. What I like about receiving feedback (assuming it’s right) in a non-work environment is the courage and love displayed by the person giving the feedback. Have you ever been at a party or social event and the person you’re talking to has a piece of salad on their tooth? Did you say anything? It’s easier to let it be.
People who offer feedback in a social setting are displaying courage because they actually share with you what they think. Sharing what you think as feedback will most likely put the other person in a defensive position. Typically, in a defensive position, we aren’t thinking objectively.
When someone offers you feedback be quick to listen and slow to speak. This will help you determine the motivation behind their comment- was their comment criticism or was it feedback? If you’re still not sure of their intent, ask questions to better understand where they are coming from. Be sure to listen intently and not offer your own judgement. Finally, if they are right, say, “you’re right.” Acknowledging their feedback puts closure on that part of the conversation. It may even open up discussions on how to essentially do what they offered as feedback.
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What’s Your Fuel?

In the midst of self-promoting my book, there are many imposter syndrome thoughts I have to overcome. The way I overcome these thoughts is by looking and thinking of my family. Providing for my family is all the fuel I need to overcome negative thoughts and do what makes me uncomfortable. What’s your fuel?
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Don’t Read

If you don’t want people to think you’re smart, don’t read. If you don’t want to become a better person, don’t read. If you don’t want to advance at your job, don’t read. If finding out how many people really don’t know what they are talking about bothers you, don’t read.
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Uncomfortably Comfortable

Yesterday I had to accomplish something I was uncomfortable doing. I did it anyway. Today I’m going to have to do something uncomfortable. I’ll do it anyway. When you have a reason that compels you enough to do something you’re not comfortable doing, you become uncomfortably comfortable.
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Ignite a Fire in Others

The first and second principle in Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, are:
Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Dale writes, the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
To never criticize, condemn or complain about others or situations, you’ll need to be intentional in finding the opposite every single day:
The opposite of criticize is praise
The opposite of condemn is acquit
The opposite of complain is rejoice
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"I" statements are more effective than "You" statements.

I just finished reading the book, The Power of Positive Confrontation by Barbara Pachter with Susan Magee and in it they highlight the benefit of using "I" statements.
Instead of saying . . .
"You're wrong," say, "I disagree."
"You're not explaining it right," say, "I don't understand."
"You're always late," say, "I need you to be on time."
"You talked back to me," say, "I need you to respect me in front of the team."
"You didn't tell me," say, "I didn't know."
"You're in my seat," say, "I also have that seat."
Changing the emphasis from "You" (accusatory) to "I" will allow the experience to better for both people involved.
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11 Ways to Win Your Audience When Speaking

This was taken from the book, Swim With Sharks, by Harvey MacKay. Whenever you are tasked for speaking, use these questions to find out exactly what type of audience you'll be addressing.
Why did the group invite me to speak? (Then give the reason when speaking to the audience)
What is the group's purpose?
What are the chief characteristics of the audience? (Professional, social, demographics, career level)
Who spoke to the audience recently? (Can I get copies of their remarks?)
Who was successful in speaking to the audience in the past?
How can I personalize the speech for the audience? (What is a no-no?)
Who are the opinion leaders of the audience?
Who will introduce me?
Will I be expected to answer questions?
What messages will provide genuine "take home" value to the group?
Who is my group insider? Can they help me in tweaking my speech?
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Look in the Mirror When Demanding Change

Crime seems to be going up amidst shouts of defund the police. Large crowds of people are demanding change, yet where is the change by each one of us? Change starts by the person you see in the mirror. Let’s focus on how we as individuals can change, by loving and considering our neighbor.
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What Do You Want?

The other day I was watching a show. In it, the main character was placed in a dungeon by a drug lord. The drug lord, who the main character was working for, wanted to know what the main character wanted in their arrangement. The main character couldn’t answer him.
As I watched the main character get continually beat down by the drug lord, who kept asking, “what do you want,” I thought to myself, “I need someone to beat me down like that demanding I answer the question, ‘what do you want’.” The main character finally broke down and revealed what he wanted. The drug lord’s work was complete.
Are you like me? You need someone to beat it out of you? (Figuratively of course, not literally)
What is it that you want? Knowing what you want is the first step to believing in what you want. Believing in what you want is the step before expecting what you want. And that my friends is where we all want to be.
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